Denzel saves the day

A friend once told me that once you have children, you never sleep as peacefully anymore, always worrying about them, about their well being, about you, about your parenting skills (or lack of said skills...;o), and about a million other things that I can't yet imagine. Even though years ago I decided that fear would not be a part of my life, deep down, I know she was right and some of it will come back the minute we get our referral: is she fine right now? Is there someone to hold her when she cries? when she's afraid? when she hurts?... Does she get enough to eat? Has she seen the sun? Does she ever get to leave her crib and play?...

It just hit me (20 months later... yeah, I'm a bit slow...) that we might be down to our very last peaceful evenings without worries, without feeling responsible for another human being, without beeing interrupted every 2 seconds by something really cute or really stinky. Might as well enjoy it!

So last night, we ordered the monthly sushi feast, opened the wine, and spent the evening with Denzel. Remember how I said that I couldn't think of anything but the next batch of referrals? Well, Denzel saved the day!

Fun movie, with a story line twisted enough to take your mind off from anything that's been invading it! And he does look good in it. Yup, he does.

Thank you Denzel. And I'm really really sorry about that brief moment when my mind wandered just a tiny bit, and for that oh so brief moment, you had pigtails with pink ribbons. Not very manly, I know...


Which will it be?

So, there isn't much I can talk about these days (or think about, so no one is missing out on anything) but the upcoming batch of referrals. It's like life is on hold, not knowing if we'll make the cut-off or not.

Today's rumour has it that a package might be on the way. With all the disappointments of the last several months, we'll see about that...

One thing is for sure, in the near future, there will be an evening when much will be consumed. The question is when, and will it be scotch or champagne?...

I'm off to the liquor store.



I've never been a big fan of roller coasters. I have a distant memory of slowly going up and feeling my heart explode going down at Mach 10.
So why, oh why did I decide to board and start a countdown to referrals this month?

Just as I said.



The perfect guest and a quiet breath

Just had one of those perfect summer week-ends, with perfect temperature, perfect wine, perfect food, and the perfect guest...

Thanks M for a great visit, lots of fun, lots of laughs, all the thoughtful gestures and telling me over and over how fabulous I was! You absolutely and divinely did live up to all the hype! :o)))

So, we're about 2 weeks away from either an unbelievable joy, that I still can barely imagine, or a horrible let-down if we learn that we have to wait yet another month... in which case we'll surely bust our wine budget. Either way, there will be tears involved. The only question left then is, will there be champagne with those tears?... or a stiff glass of scotch?...

Life is still happening, but I feel like I'm sitting in an old rocking chair, in an old house, with just the sound of an old clock ticking oh so slowly, second by endless second. I see the world out the window, but I can't hear it. I'm busy trying to breathe very, very softly, because the only other alternative is to hold my breath, and 2 weeks is just too long a time to do that. And I'm crossing my fingers and my toes and even my eyes in case that could be of any help, hoping they refer at least another 7 days...

OK, time to hear some news, I'm getting cramps here.


Surreal pink

I'm organizing baby clothes, baby toys, baby books, baby stuff and baby gear in the baby room. Still, surrounded by pink and tiny socks, it's so hard to realize that all this is about to get some good use, that I'm not babysitting at someone else's house, that soon some small precious soul will be making a great big mess out of all my neurotic organisation.

Can't wait.


OK... *cough cough*... Let's start this...

Well, finally, after reading some amazing blogs from some amazing women for months and months, I took a deep breath and started to write. Oh boy, so intimidating!

Why Red?

Because of my hair.
Because of China.
Because I blush so easily.
Because it's fun.
Because of my favorite wine.
Because I had to find a name, and it's the first one that came to mind.

In a few days, we will have been waiting for 20 months after submitting our dossier to China. TWENTY MONTHS!!! And I know that still, we'll be luckier than those who come after us, because The Wait keeps increasing and increasing every month. Oh, The Wait... I still remember that phone call from our sponsor, a lifetime ago, confirming our LID date: the wait back then was 9 months, and he told me that things didn't look so good, and it might go up to a year. I thought to myself that I could take a year, but no more than that! Well, here we are, almost 2 years later, and still no baby...

But we might be next: they only have to cover 7 days of LID's to make it to us! And I'm allowing myself to get excited this month, because I don't want to miss out on a whole month of excitement and anticipation, a whole month of permanent happy high with the knowledge that it's finally our turn, that this whole adventure is actually quite real and just about to begin. And if we don't make the cut-off this time? I'll cry for a day, drink some good wine, and then I'll get excited again, because we'll be next for sure!

So I want to go back to those blogs I mentionned at the beginning...

During The Wait, googling "china adoption" over and over again, I discovered a whole world I didn't know about: blogging moms, and blogging adoptive moms! The honesty, the generosity, the humor, the support I discovered just blew my mind, and held me together when I tought that it would never happen. I've learned so much from these women, most of whom I don't know. If, by writing myself, I can give back just a tiny fraction of all I gained, I'll be a happy blogger! :o)